THE BIBLICAL VIEW OF SELF-IMAGE
Few would disagree with the following statement: How people
think of themselves will to a large degree determine how they will think of others, how they will think of God, how they will
obtain and maintain all their relationships, and how they will make decisions. There is no area of life that will not be directly
or indirectly affected by the way we view ourselves. However,
there are two vastly different views on the subject of self- image:
THE UNBIBLICAL VIEW OF SELF-IMAGE, SELF- WORTH, SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-LOVE
The basic teaching in pop-psychology today is that people in general have a low self-image, self-esteem, self-worth, self- love, etc. They do not think that they are very good, they do not love themselves, they do not accept themselves the way they are, they lack self-confidence, etc. People behave poorly because they view themselves in this manner. If people could improve their self-image, then they would feel better about themselves and perform better in life. Everyone, of course, has a bad self-image, there are however, varying degrees. Also, since people do not want others to know how badly they perceive themselves, they tend to cover up their poor self- image with different methods: some with shyness — so that people will not catch on to how bad they really are. Others may show-off trying to prove that they are really okay.
In order to get a feel for what is actually being taught, let‘s look at what some of today‘s self-image proponents, both in secular and Christian circles, are saying:
"If I could write a prescription for the women of the world, I would provide each of them with a healthy
dose of self-esteem and personal worth. ...I have no doubt that this is their greatest need" (James Dobson,
What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew about Women, p35).
"Feeling good about ourselves may in fact, be the cornerstone of our total well being" (Barnett, Baruch and Rivers, "The Secret of Self Esteem," The Ladies Home Journal, Feb. 1984, p54).
"Mothers who choose to obtain abortions do so because of too little self-esteem, not too much" (Philip A. Captain, Eight Stages of Christian Growth).
"Lack of self-esteem can actually extinguish the desire to go on living" (James Dobson, High or Seek, p80).
"Once a person believes he is an ‗unworthy sinner‘ it is doubtful if he can honestly accept the saving grace God offers in Christ" (Robert Schuller, Self Esteem, p98).
"Depression always has a loss of self-esteem in the foreground. ...Be slow to direct a depressed person to the Scriptures. . . no preaching. I would recommend a recess from church if there is preaching done in the church" (Jeff Boer, "Is Self-Esteem Proper for a Christian?" The Journal of Pastoral Practice, Vol 5, #4, p78).
"Under the influence of humanistic psychologists like Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow, many of us Christians have begun to see our need for for self-love and self-esteem" (Bruce Narramore, You’re Someone Special, p22).
"Self-love is the prerequisite and the criterion for our conduct towards our neighbour. ...Without self-love
there can be no love for others. ...You cannot love your neighbour, you cannot love God unless you first love
yourself" (Walter Trobishch, Love Yourself, p11).
"Actually, our ability to love God and to love our neighbour is limited by our ability to love ourselves. We cannot love God more than we love our neighbour and we cannot love our neighbour more than we love ourselves" (Captain, Eight Stages of Christian Growth, p157).
"Low self-esteem can lead to depression and other emotional and physical illness, substance abuse, sexual promiscuity, and even suicide" (Shirley Sherrif, Contact, Vol. II #1; Jan. 1991).
"You have to think that you are somebody if you want to maintain good mental health" (Arthur Rounder, You Can Learn To Like Yourself, p3).
"Self-esteem or pride in being a human being is the single greatest need facing the human race today" (Robert Schuller, Self-Esteem, p19).
"People have one basic personal need which requires two kinds of impute for its satisfaction. The most basic need is a sense of personal worth, and acceptance of oneself as a whole, real person" (Lawrence Crabb, Effective Biblical Counseling, p80).
According to the self-image proponents: sexual promiscuity, suicide, crime, abortion, depression, poor mental health, stress, unhappiness, lack of success in life, the inability to love God and to accept His free gift of salvation, the inability to love others, and the inability to love self, are all the results of a poor self-image or low self-esteem.
What is the cure then for all of these problems? According to the self-image advocates, it is to build a good self-image (and
a strong sense of self-worth) into the lives of all people. If what they are saying is true, then we as Christians had better jump
on the self-image bandwagon. As a matter of fact, if people are unable to love God and others because of a poor self- image, then building self-esteem in our children, our spouses, our unsaved friends, ourselves and the entire world should become a primary goal of the church.
THE BIBLICAL VIEW OF SELF-IMAGE, SELF-WORTH, SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-LOVE
The power of the human mind to deceive itself seems infinite. We need to pray Psalm 139:23,24: "Search me, O God, and know my heart: Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way" often! One study of two-hundred criminals revealed that not one of those criminals believed he was evil. Each criminal thought of himself as basically a good person even when planning a crime (The Washington Star, Aug. 15, 1976).
One of the Bible‘s major aims is to correct man‘s high view of himself; yet, it is now interpreted by Christian leaders to intend just the opposite. How can creatures who are constantly told (in the Word of God) that they think too highly of themselves, be convinced that their problem is in fact low self-esteem? Left to our own observations and imaginations such a thing is possible (Jer. 17:9,10: "The heart is more deceitful than all else. . ."), but the Bible does not cater to our self-deception, it seeks to correct it.
C.S. Lewis, writing before the self-esteem fad took off, made this interesting observation, "The child who is patted on the back for doing a lesson well, the woman whose beauty is praised by her lover, the saved soul to whom Christ says, ‗well done,‘ is pleased and ought to be. For here the pleasure lies not in what you are but in the fact that you have pleased someone you wanted (and rightly wanted) to please. The trouble begins when you pass from thinking, ‗I have pleased him; all is well,‘ to thinking, ‗what a fine person I must be to have done it.‘" If Lewis were to write such words today, would
they be well received? I doubt it!
What do the Scriptures have to say about how we view ourselves?
Jesus taught the virtue of humility (Luke 18:14), and the importance of self-denial, rather than self-love (Matt. 16:24). The Epistles are in hearty agreement with the words of Jesus (cp. 1 Tim. 1:15; Rom. 7:24; 12:3; and Phil. 2:3-8). As a matter of fact, nowhere in the Bible are we warned not to think more lowly of ourselves than we ought. Yet, there should be many such Scriptures if our problem is lack of self-esteem. There are, however, five and a half pages in the Nave‘s Topical Bible on the subject of pride, including Prov. 16:5,18 and 19. In addition, there are three pages on self-denial. There are no references to self-image or any word meaning the same. Only in 2 Tim. 3:2 does the concept of self-love appear, and there it is a vice (see below). Clearly, the Bible does not present self-esteem as man’s great problem. In fact, the opposite of self-esteem, pride, is certainly stated to be a problem.
In the New Testament, neither John the Baptist (Lk. 3:16) nor the prodigal son (Lk. 15:21) were corrected when they declared themselves unworthy. Yet Norman Wright says, "Worthiness is a feeling of ‗I am good.‘" If this is true, then what do we do with Jesus‘ statement, ‘there is none good but one, that is God.’
Note the Old Testament examples of Gideon (Jud. 6:15); Isaiah (Isa. 6:5); Amos (Amos 7:14); Job (Job 42:6); and Moses (Exod. 3:11; 4:10-13). Each of these men was used of God when they recognized the Lord‘s greatness and their own smallness. 2 Cor. 12:9,10 also teaches us that we find God‘s strength only when we recognize our own weakness.
2 Tim. 3:16,17 and 2 Pet. 1:3 explains that God‘s Word is sufficient to equip us to be godly people, and that everything concerning life and godliness is found in His Word. This being the case, we must ask the question: "Why is there no
mention of self-esteem in all of the Scriptures?"
The answer to that question surely lies in the fact that our relationship with God is not based on our righteousness or our worth to Him, but upon His grace (Titus 3:4-7). Rather, we are sinners who can do nothing to impress or please God (Rom. 3:23; 5:6-8).
KEY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SELF-IMAGE AND BIBLICAL IMAGE
GOD IN HIS WORD:
1) Love God & others (Mt. 22:37)
2) Build up others (Heb. 10:24,25)
3) None righteous (Rom. 3:23)
4) Heart is deceitful (Jer. 17:9)
5) Put others first (Phip. 2:1-4)
6) Be humble (Rom. 12:3)
7) We are sinners (Rom. 3:10,11)
8) Walk in the Spirit (Gal. 5:16)
9) Deny yourself (Mt. 16:24-26)
10) Put confidence in God (Phip. 4:13)
SELF-IMAGE ADVOCATES SAY:
1)Love yourself
2)Build your self-esteem
3)You are good
4)Believe in yourself
5)Put yourself first
6)Think highly of yourself
7)You are of great value
8)Do what you want to do
9)Find yourself
10) Have self-confidence
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